Slimed, Baited and Scammed by Catfish

This post is a sequel to the one "Bilking Grandma".  There may appear to be several posts in between so you may need to look back a ways.  Should you find this subject meaningful to you in any way, you may want to read that post first.  Naiveté can really dig in its heels and it might be easier if you find yourself entangled in it to know you are far from alone. 

 

A guy named  Matthew G. Sherwin apparently writes a lot of reviews for Amazon and in the course of checking out a book I annotated his asking:     what can happen when you want to believe what you want to believe ?   [a snare?]

There's a philosophical question there begging to be asked, and that is:  Could there ever be a human being exist who has escaped believing something that he wants to believe, and really, for no better reason than he wants to believe it?

 

So, . . . do you know what it means to be bird-dogged?  How about cat fished?

For bird dogging, let’s pluck the number three definition from the urban dictionary:  “hunting naïve game”.  I guess if you’re one of the top romance scammers for three years running, they’re likely giving out oversized trophies now, eh?  It has to be tough competing with the taxidermy for wall-mounted catfish.

In the highly unlikely event that I’m not the last individual on the entire planet to have learned about this, let me just share what cat fishing is.   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catfish_(film) sums things up quite well, I think.  A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they're not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.                      http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=catfish.

Just to keep these characteristics in mind:

They PRETEND

They pretend to be someone THEY ARE NOT

They use Fb and other Social Media

They create FALSE identities

They pursue DECEPTIVE online romances

Without this definition, the experiences prove to be clear as mud.  Even with this definition you may experience muddiness for some time.  Some of us humans do that for wanting to believe WHAT we want to believe.

 

If you, dear – xxx strike the dear xxx, reader, are party to (I'll explain that phraseology in just a bit) acting as a catfish, and wonder what my mood might be (and yes, I have served as naïve game) let this announce it for you:  "Don’t fashion me into a maiden that needs saving from a dragon. I am the dragon and I will eat you whole." -- The Requiem of the Moon Poetry

 

Beyond that, I have not learned astrology, but find certain aspects I run across crystal clear to my own perceptions and being a Sagittarian woman, anticipate:

"A Sagittarius woman lacks tact and her flat, on-the-face statements may leave you feeling like running away from her. . . .   At times, you may wish that she were not so honest.

She will judge the entire situation as per the facts, analyze its probable outcome and still believe that things will get better. Usually, she is very calm and composed. However, when you become rude to her or offend her, she may become like the fire-spitting dragon. " Read more at http://www.iloveindia.com/astrology/sun-signs/sagittarius/woman.html#uM2gWMRFJRoo1slx.99

 

As to you, if you've been playing the catfish role, #It might be you.  If you’re experiencing a discomfort in your gut that won’t go away, and can’t be ignored because there’s a distinct possibility the subject of this post may well be you, fair warning! Some people are a waste of skin!  That may apply to you!

 

I had nearly given up hope with regards to figuring out this on-line mystery, but never ever underestimate a woman scorned.

 

For you ladies out there (not to say the slime can’t cut both ways/it’s just that I have an undeniable bias)who have a sneaking suspicion you may not be talking to whom you’ve been told you’re talking to as you romp about the World Wide Web, I have a tale to tell.

 

The voice I’ll be using will be one you’re not likely accustomed to unless you’ve read deeply into my Wordpress blog, Galling Repetitiveness Maxine. I feel you deserve to know what you’re in for so I have shared how a Sagittarius female might (on certain occasion) be communicating.  (see above)

 

What is a bias?  Karl Albrecht Ph.D. BrainSnacks https://www.psychologytoday.com/.../the-real-reason-we-believe-w... Psychology Today

It's an "ABCDE"—an Assumption, Belief, Conclusion, Decision, or Emotion that distorts our perceptions and narrows our options for responding to experience.   (note to self:  this is extremely valuable to keep in mind)

One of the highest espoused values in most cultures, particularly Anglo-Western cultures, is being "objective"—unbiased, logical, and sensible. Most of us are conditioned from early childhood to think of ourselves as seeking the "right" answers at the many decision points we encounter. Moment by moment, day by day, we want to believe that we are analyzing situations skillfully and basing our opinions and behavior on the correct conclusions.

Reality—to say nothing of research—routinely contradicts that belief.     (note to self:  multiple times note above)                                  

Karl Albrecht Ph.D. BrainSnacks https://www.psychologytoday.com/.../the-real-reason-we-believe-w... Psychology Today

 

I have desired a fabulous relationship since I was in the third grade.  One of my schoolmates and I had a crush on one of our other classmates and when I could I rode the school bus twelve miles out in the country with my friend to spend the night at her house.  For third graders, twelve miles on a bus stopping and starting again many times is quite the opulent period of time to study the object of one's affections.  He remained unaware, I'm quite sure; but I could always look back to when I made up my mind that one day I'd have a relationship with a man as meaningful, enjoyable and enriched as the one I had with my schoolmate.

 

I didn't know it as I was growing up, of course, but I was going to have a difficult time achieving that seemingly simple goal.  My background with men has seemed rife with toxicity.  When I was asked to be Facebook friends with the man who turned out to be my last adventure in "falling in love", I had no idea what I was in for.

 

Rather than just plunge into that, consider some things for yourself or others in your life.  Reflect on falling in love.  In your experience, was that something you planned out or did it catch you off guard?  Did you think about how sensible you were being and check in with yourself every step of the way or did you surprise yourself and revel in spontaneity?  Did the experience that came to mind for that end well?  Are you glad for the experience or do you wish it had never happened?

 

I’m capable, finally, of doing a glottal stop (What’s our throat catching, anyways? http://linguisticmystic.com/2007/04/23/the-glottal-stop-your-new-phonetic-phriend/)  of my fantasizing over men I’ve tossed out with the trash, but I often don’t want to for a long, long while.  It’s possible it’s just as satisfying to me to have a man in my imagination as to be able to look right at him ignoring me.

My second husband stills wows me with how he could stare me down once I’d asked him a question, even pull his glasses down so he could view me over the top of them and slowly push them back up, all the while without evincing a sound.  Surely he couldn’t have been serious, whining to the Marshal standing at the door, “I haven’t done anything wrong.  I don’t know why she doesn’t want me in there with her.”

 

I “get” it now, or at least, so much better than I used to:  we create our own versions of everyone we know, and they us.  It’s real easy to understand when you’ve never met someone.  The man I’m claiming I let get away (don’t let me fool you — he was never mine to begin with) was someone I wrote to for no more than thirty days.  It’s just that I had a near instantaneous rapport with him.  I can easily, however, remind myself that I made up all sorts of things about him, joyfully filling in the blank spots, because there were so many blank spots.

 

After a few months of “being without”, I looked at what came readily to mind about him, and good cheer was topmost.  I know now that some of that was that the software program we were using, kept tossing up his super smiley self to punctuate everything he said.

[I’m going to switch voice and speak directly to him for the following]

 #You Are The One, did you get that message?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bifurcation  Wikipedia Bifurcation means the splitting of a main body into two parts.    I’m feeling very bifurcated just now.  Actually, not just now.  It’s fast coming on a year which is too unbelievable.  The bifurcation (splitting my main being into two parts) is not just about one thing, but rather several.  I congratulate myself often how I’ve saved you, (from me) but always with the sharp edge that I cannot know that.  Perhaps I was as right for you as I’ve come to fantasize (and don’t miss the word — fantasized) you well may be right for me.  Yes, I recognize I’m dancing about with my words like water droplets on a hot griddle. Disaster is only a heartbeat away.

 

I don’t even remember how this came about now but I’ve read about your sun sign, Libra, and accept that you cast a spell on me and I submitted just like our little puppies lie down in submission when a big dog enters the space.  I became utterly at your mercy, the moment you wrote, “I like your smiles.” Signed, sealed, delivered, done!  How it could possibly have seemed any different than when any of your compadres wrote it is like a major itch that won’t go away no matter how many times I scratch.  I have no freakin’ idea! Maybe you waited until Venus was just in the right spot.

 

Well, in case you failed to notice,

In case you failed to see,

This is my heart bleeding before you,

This is me down on my knees

 

And these foolish games are tearing me apart

And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart

You’re breaking my heart.

Jewel  Foolish Games on Pieces of You

http://www.pandora.com/station/play/3048616596095754322

Dear readers,

This post is nearly 1800 words right now and I haven’t even gotten to the big reveal.  “He” is not a he.  No, this is not The Green Mile, nor am I sitting (very insignificantly in beauty and grace) beside Caitlyn Jenner.  The information I am about to reveal may prove to be very valuable to you, however, and being originally from Wyoming, I am a being who requires her space.  Look for another sequel.  I intend to finish (???) this today. 

 

 2nd of 3/4            12.767           160821