Have You Been Bilked Yet?

Aug. 15, 2016

#Win Her Heart, Leave Her Stripped Clean

Quick question:  Anyone ever show up on your Facebook page requesting your friendship looking fresh and innocent and male — that you didn’t know, and young enough to remind you of your son or grandson?  I’ll leave you with that, for the moment.


“The heart is forever young”, they say.  There’s truth to that, for sure.


I’ve managed (and I’ll bet there are untold others) to stir a well-hid hornet’s nest that in my estimation is growing leaps and bounds on the Internet.  Perhaps, that can be narrowed to Facebook.


My experience dates back far enough to envision this preying (not praying)cartel to have morphed from a few dandies out pick pocketing for larks to an entire “movement” now double dipping for millions.


So, on one side of the dip (remember, this is now double dipping) — [heads up drug cartels: to keep up, you now request a membership from those who provide you the drugs wherein they pay you to buy from them] we have any number of young men who find themselves desperate for funds. Perhaps, one month the mining gets done in third world countries for bright, ambitious, generous and family minded men eager to get to countries more freedom and capital based.


Perhaps, another month the males sought have a life or death issue they lack the funds to mend even though the mending could be available if they did.  Another possibly: a child needs saving.  Heartaches to be exploited are endless.


Each of you has your own picture formulating in your mind, now. The list of potential clients is as long as the names that constitute mankind. 


On the other side, who shall we dip into?  Today we speak of grandma. What’s a better match than dowagers?  What did they ever do to deserve their money, anyway?  And, aren’t they now living on borrowed time?  And, very best, the assumption can be made, if an older woman dangles loosely without a man, why not assume she’s got to be a dowager?  And, it goes without saying, she’s got to be lonely and women are always ready for another man, aren’t they?  What better match than a young and needful man with an older, vulnerable female.  The more distance between them, the better, for fantasy can then run rife.


I may not be able to hone in on the most accurate of key words with which to google this special club — yet.  I can say, though, there are others who are aware of it and who have their own perspectives.  Along with that come solutions.  Some of those are beginning to raise their heads, and along with that comes more awareness.


In an audience/reader role, can you see benefits on both sides of the dip, of the exposure of and to these groups?


Mayhap, we should get into more characteristics first. If we’re going to softly bludgeon a stranger to near death why not start with TOEs.  The acronym here, of course, is for terms of endearment.  Many people grow up, generously sprinkling their most casual encounters with others with “dear”, “honey”, “sweetie”, et al.; but using scripts — aha, might they be employed here with those who don’t?  Anyone can use terms of endearment with a script. NOTE: I will talk more about my theory of scripts further on.


This use of endearments immediately changes the tenor of the responses between two people, does it not?  It brings light and love and warmth and familiarity, immediately.  “Oh, perhaps I’m falling in love.  This man here be a kind one.  It has been awhile since anyone has called me dear.”


Score one for the home team!  I can now see the sense in banding together, or at least taking counsel from those who have won before.  And, so might the thinking be.  While the younger man dismisses the value of the feelings and quality of life of the possible real score; benefiting at the expense of another human being just seems the only way.  “What choice did I have?”  Could that be the thinking of our new friend?


Let’s reconnoiter, shall we?


Is the woman experiencing feelings of suspicion?


Likely, don’t you think?  Facebook itself isn’t generally considered a dating site, agreed?  And yet, here is a stranger and one who wants to message chat rather than follow the suggested protocol of writing a hello on the wall.  Within fewer than fifty to hundred words comes an unsolicited, “let me tell you a little about me”.  Huhnn?


Interestingly, what follows is meant to be “appealing” and sadly, it often is that, if the mark ends up being a “success” to the younger man.  What is not meant is that it bear any real resemblance to “telling you a little about him”.


It likely could tell him considerable about himself were he truly intending what he says, and that is: he really likes you and wants to get to know you.  Fall for it if you will; but your gut has already proved to be the higher guide.


Tors Norretranders, who wrote the immensely fascinating book, The User Illusion, points out that there is no guarantee any of us listen to what we say.  I’m convinced that applies to what we write as well.  Perhaps that’s all that is happening in these cases, but my shadow side says these younger men who find themselves in situations beyond their depths are prompted by scripts written by exploiters.  And there is more to follow in another post.


         12569    112549     942