Have I lost my nerve?


Why should I lose my nerve when so many have lost their heads?

Being left twisting in the wind is surely a common enough experience.  Or so one would think.

I keep clarifying this so as to not forget it, as being a book lover I am aware of a tendency toward kleptomania with regards to them (as well as having an admitted emotional disturbance in general), plus really "getting it" that this book is very precious to its lender, I am merely enjoying a brief opportunity to enjoy reading snatchets of the book, The Disappearance of the Universe, by Gary R. Renard.  It turns out to be a supporter of a Course in Miracles, just so's you know.

I shared all that with you so you might understand my reference to people losing their heads.  I often find myself attempting to absorb a book a little more quickly from the beginning by poking around in it before beginning it.

I rapidly found myself choking and nearly spewing my just swallowed water when I ran across these two sentences on page 67: "I got my head cut off in India.  When you're in a body, you just never know what kind of a day it's going to be."

And, isn't that a startling realization that we never know what kind of a day it's going to be -- because -- we are in a body?

Thus, I ponder, why should I lose my nerve upon realizing it feels that I've been left twisting in the wind -- by anyone -- no matter how fondly I regard them.

Perhaps you never ask yourself such questions.  No need, you say.  You recognize your self-confidence is at a seemingly permanent level so high you never find yourself stumbling and bumbling through a day in your life.  It seems to me I may remember having experienced that for a nanosecond many decades ago.

I'm not at all sure I thoroughly regret the years in between.  I have, -- greatly, but I've become more seasoned recently.  I've been working on myself, with renewed vigor, the last year, perhaps the last two years; and the fruit of that is what has led me to attempting this book.  Previously, I have never been at this place where I realize that, for me, at least writing a book is not a linear process.

I realize that creates a challenge for readers and truly, I would appreciate your feedback.  Thank you.


Easy enough -- to leave me twisting in the wind!

Beginning Writing_Random Reach 6614 for now

[[betw. 5 and 6 AM, Sunday the third of January of 2016]]

There will be many who will be more than happy to lay all the credit at your feet.  I'm not saying I won't be one of them.  I'm just sayin' . . . .


Don't you just love using that?  ("I'm just sayin'"?)  It feels so hip!  And speaking of hip, wow!, I just started writing and I'm already off in just about every direction.  I can't believe it's time to reign myself back in.


Please don't tell me I'm going to need a writing coach to be able to write a book!  I've spent so many years in the process of realizing I find it fun to come up with titles.  Having announced to one of my early morning conference calls, the title I'm writing to now, I feel pretty obligated to actually use it as one and to write the book.


You're going to limit our time together for this, aren't you?  You won't mind taking credit, you'll lap up on the adulation that will come your way and I know you well enough that even though, "silent man" that you are, you'll go on TV and smile and eclipse me whenever you can.


I don't mean at all that that will be intentional.  It's the way of the world and the mallard duck.  You've got the gorgeous green head so my dull brown will allow me to fade with all surrounding ducklings into the background.  It's protective, because I finally found myself a "real" man.


What I'm getting from this little reflective self repartee is that I'd better hurry and write this thing and get it out there and start stumping with it before the world finds you and beats its path to your door.  I wouldn't mind five minutes of glory before passing the torch.


Odd to see for myself, first hand, what else is balled up in this aging bit!